Misheal George / 21 / Female / Karachi

Life is hard but it is harder when you are dealing with mental illness. I am Misheal George, 21 years old, living in Karachi.

I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety lately by a Psychiatrist. My treatment is going on and I’m on medication. Pray for me.

So I would like to share things happening in my life since I have been dealing with mental illness. Life becomes so hard with this that you don’t even get yourself. It’s the peace of mind that you crave so bad that you unintentionally start to hurt yourself and others around you. You don’t get where to head so you spend most of the time inside with no people around. I was isolated for months, didn’t attend anything, didn’t even talk a lot. I used to stay in bed for days and days that once I didn’t take bath for straight six days because I was frozen in my bed. I either sleep a lot or not at all. I don’t remember what eating properly and peacefully means. There is a constant body ache, tension headaches to be particular, unwanted thoughts that little by little kill you inside, hopelessness, a kind of behavior that pushes everyone away and still crying for not getting attention, staring at walls for hours, you don’t even want to do the easiest tasks like combing you hair, brushing your teeth, even making your bed or replying a message.

But you know what makes it hardest – PEOPLE. People who don’t understand what you’re going through and you sit there numb not even having a capacity to think what I did wrong to deserve this. I really want to shout and tell people that this is not what I wanted for my life and this is definitely not what I planned for because it’s not in my hand, it’s the symptoms of the disease I am having. This is for everyone please start taking mental illness seriously.

I am not ashamed of telling that I have mental illness because this is what makes me stronger. With that I don’t want to miss the opportunity to thank each and every person who is helping me getting out of this. It’s because of you people I try a little harder and push myself to do things. Thank you so much my family, my friends for supporting me, helping me and most importantly tolerating me. Most importantly my mom – she is an angel.

But the reason I’m writing this down is to put light on people having mental illness and their life on social media. The picture attached of me is of the day before my appointment with psychiatrist. But if I post this picture on social media with a happy caption than everyone would be like oh she’s having a good and happy life, she must be all fine. I want to talk to every person living in Pakistan that please do not assume what’s going on in other’s lives based on their public appearances and fancy media lives. People are mastered in hiding their feelings for the very reason that others would not understand them. I want to request you all please reach out to people who you think are not fine. Please look around, your family, your friends, your neighbors, your relatives or anyone you know so they know people care, people love.

Please be a little kind, and then a little more – the world needs more of it.